I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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