ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
