So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
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