I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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