it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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