Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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