So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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