I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
