Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
