singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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