Me. At least after what I've been through.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
