We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
