Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize