so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
