I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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