I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
