Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
