Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
