the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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