Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
