I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
