i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
