I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
