i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
