are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
