If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
