This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Well I just put wine in my tea
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
