There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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