forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
love makes seman taste better
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
