It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize