Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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