The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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