I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
