erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
