i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
