Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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