oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
