i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
