i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
