When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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