I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
