grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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