I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
