You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
