i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just found puke in my bra..
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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