It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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