im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
