so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
