How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize