sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
