Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
