people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
