He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
