So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
