its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The beers last night were like the tears from god
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
