Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
