remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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