My nipple is on Facebook.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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