I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
