we have officially lost it.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
