let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
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