I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
