I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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