the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
