I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
