If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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